chinese food – Top 5 Communication Tips for Couples – free article courtesy of ArticleCity.com

Top 5 Communication Tips for Couples
 by: Alan Stafford

1. If you want to be a better communicator, be a better listener. This means listening without reaction and without judgment. When your partner shares, you are observing your partner’s innermost feelings and emotions. These feelings are neither good nor bad. This is just how your partner feels. You don’t have to agree.

But, the first step in effective communications is to listen and understand that your partner feels that way. Communication in a good relationship isn’t just two people talking to each other. It is also two people listening.

2. When your partner is sharing a belief, an opinion, or a feeling, it is his feeling. He is entitled to it; it’s his. Telling him he’s wrong never works and makes people defend their positions. Do you remember your reaction last time when your partner said that you were wrong? It works just the same the other way. Remember that understanding and accepting that your partner has these feelings does not mean you agree with them.

3. Being a successful couple is not a win-lose game where one person has to give in. Being in a successful relationship means that neither of you is completely right, nor completely wrong. Successful communication between you and your partner may help you find a third alternative where you can both live happily. Example: you hate Chinese food; he hates Mexican food. You could argue forever until one person gives in and is miserable throughout the meal. Or, you could go to an Italian restaurant that you both like.

Two small tips: 1) don’t give up too soon – oftentimes you will need to talk the problem over for a few minutes before you find that common ground. 2) Don’t always give in to keep the peace- if you always give in and let your partner decide, it will someday result in having an “I’m tired of letting you make all the decisions!” kind of a row.

4. Learn the 3-step approach to solving the differences in your relationship:

a) Verbalize the behavior that is causing you a problem

b) Explain how the behavior is creating a problem for you

c) Request that your partner do something to change the situation. Notice that I did not say correct the behavior. Correcting implies that the behavior was wrong. You don’t need to make the behavior wrong. You just want the behavior to change.

5. Finally, never say no to your partner’s request. Not for money, not for help around the house, not even for sex. Your answer should be either “yes”, or you should make a counteroffer. Your partner can then counter your counteroffer. The counteroffers continue until both partners have a solution that both can live with.

This is another example of finding that third way. This process will strengthen your relationship. When you say “no”, you cause hurt and feelings of rejection. Saying “no” also shuts down future communication. Your partner will start thinking “I won’t ask her anymore, because the answer is always no”.

After all, that is what marriage is all about: a continual meshing, accommodating, and negotiating between two individuals trying to act as a couple. If you had wanted everything your way, you should have stayed single. Remember, when it comes to your relationship, it’s not my way; it’s not his way; it’s our way. Always look for that third way – that common ground where both of you can be happy.

About The Author

Dr. Alan Stafford, Relationship Results Coach

I help Singles and Couples build relationships that work

www.relationshipsuccessexperts.com

Click here to ask Alan a question about your biggest relationship issue

http://relationshipsuccessexperts.com/askalan.htm

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©2006 Alan Stafford/Relationship Success Experts


“Lucky” Chinese New Year symbols are an important part of

celebrating the Spring Festival.

Afterall, it is the start of spring — a perfect time to

have your New Year wishes come true!

And what better way to usher in happiness, prosperity and

health than to enjoy “auspicious food” with family and

friends?

Here are the Top 8 auspicious food symbols for Chinese New

Year.

Top 8 Auspicious Food Symbols for Chinese New

Year

1. Hot Pot

A steaming hot pot (or chinese fondue) with meat, seafood

and vegetables) is a must.

Huo3 in hot pot huo3 guo3 火锅 is the same word as huo3 in

hong2 huo3 红火 “prosperous and booming”.

2. Fish

Another must-have dish if you want to experience abundance

in the new year.

Fish yu2 鱼 is the most popular dish served during Chinese

New Year.

In Chinese fish has the same sound as “surplus” and

“abundance” 余.

A whole fish is served on Chinese New Year’s eve for the

reunion dinner.

Usually the fish is steamed.

It is a good omen to leave the bones and head and tail

intact.

This symbolizes surplus/abundance and a good beginning and

end in the new year.

Best served whole.

3. Shrimp

Shrimp xia1 虾 in Mandarin and ha in Cantonese sounds

like someone laughing.

Eat shrimp for happiness and well-being.

4. Boiled dumplings

A Chinese New Year tradition is eating boiled dumplings.

These are shaped like gold ingots.

Dumplings jiao3 zi 饺子 sounds like jiao1 zi3 交子which

means the hour of transition into the New Year.

Hence, in northern China, dumplings filled with meat are

eaten on Chinese New Year’s eve to usher in good luck and

wealth in the New Year.

Sometimes a coin is placed in one of the dumplings. Whoever

bites on it will have plenty of wealth in the new year.

When dumplings and yellow noodles are cooked together they

mean “golden threads through gold ingots”.

In the eastern cities of China, like Shanghai, Hangzhou and

Suzhou, egg dumplings are eaten as they look like gold

ingots.

5. Oyster

Hao2 sounds like hao3 shi4 好事 which means “good

things”.

In southern China, it is served with thin rice

noodles.

6. Green vegetables

For close family ties, serve some greens.

Qing1 cai4 青菜 sounds like qing1 亲 as in qin1 re 亲热 mea

ning “close/intimate”

7. Sticky rice cake

Nian2 gao1 年糕.

Nian2 means year and cake gao1 sounds the

same as high gao1 高.

So eating this steamed cake made of rice flour and topped

with red dates has the meaning of attaining greater

prosperity and rank in the new year.

8. Noodles

Known as chang2 shou4 mian4 长寿面 meaning “longevity

noodles”.

A wish for good fortune — Good Luck, Prosperity, Longevity,

Happiness and Abundance — is central to the Chinese way of

life.

Even more so during Chinese New Year!

For more auspicious Chinese food symbols and DIY Chinese recipes, visit www.living-chinese-symbols.com.

Want to discover the culture of Chinese symbols and characters and enhance your life? LIOW Kah Joon is your guide. Read his Chinese New Year Special and sign up for his free monthly Chinese Symbols ezine at Living Chinese Symbols.

Article Source:

http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kah_Joon_Liow

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